I was reading Beyond Basketball: Coach K’s Keywords for Success on adversity, which Mike Krzyzewski mentioned that, “what separates good teams and individuals from great ones is the manner in which they handle adversity.”

I could not have agree more with that. Adversity provides an unique opportunity for one to grow, to discover about oneself and to breakthrough personal limits. In his book, Beyond Basketball, he mentioned that, “whenever I face adversity, I look at the problem and then beyond the problem. I look for the positive impact it will have on me, my team, or my family.”

I would never have understood that, not until two years ago when I was in Philippines and going through it myself.

I had stayed in the Philippines for almost one and a half year in 2003 – 2005 in Makati and in Davao City. I stayed in Davao City for about 8 months and I loved the city. I would say it has the best of both world. Being a city, it has many amenities and facilities that come with a city but at the same time, you will get to enjoy peaceful moment at night like in the countryside. Basically it is also a safe place to live in; I remember I was walking alone in the street 2, 3 a.m. in the morning and I did not feel threatened in anyway.

And what about this city that taught me to handle adversity? There was once I had to make a trip to a college which is about an hour or two away by taxi. I was pretty excited to be given an opportunity to present to a group of students. Throughout the journey to the college, I was going through the presentation in my mind and at the same time enjoying the scenic view on the way to the college.

When I reached the college, the students were already in the lecture hall waiting for me to start my presentation. Without any further delay, I set up my projector and the laptop. Within minutes, I was good to go. There was only one challenge; the laptop refused to power up or rather the hard disk had crashed. Basically, the laptop had chosen the ‘most appropriate time’ to break down and had it not broken down, I would not have had the opportunity to grow.

My presentation slide was in the laptop and even if I had a soft copy of the presentation slide, there were no other computers or laptops which I could use. And so I stood there for a moment facing the group of about 20-30 students and their eyes were all looking at me and waiting for me to start. What could I do? I had no choice, or rather I was already given a choice; the show must go on.

I saw a white board just besides me, I asked for a few white board markers and so the show began. At first I was worried as I did not know how I should do the presentation or what I should say; I had never done the same presentations on white board before. But within five minutes into the presentation, I found that everything started flowing naturally to my mind. In fact it was much better if I could say; the session was more interactive and engaging.

Since I didn’t need to follow the presentation slide, I allowed more questions from the student. Do you think the students enjoyed the session? I certainly believe they did.

What occurred that day was not only a learning experience for the students, but also a good learning experience for me. I remember a quotation that states, “Remember that challenges are not there to stop you. The challenges are there to help you grow.” Similarly, adversity provides us with opportunities not only to grow but also to breakthrough the limits that we set for ourselves. Adversity challenges us to change our own beliefs from ‘I don’t think it can be done,’ to ‘it can.’

Life can be unfair at times
When you must maintain Faith
And Never Let Go.

It is especially during the difficult times
That you must live your life
To its fullest potential.
Those are the times to Triumph
Over circumstances
With Hope and Courage.

Life isn’t always easy,
But if you keep Going and Persevere
To the very best of your Ability,
You will gain Strength to manage
The new Challenges ahead.

Each Goal that you reach
Is another important Step Forward.

Believe that there are
Bright and wonderful days
Ahead for you and you will find them.

Chicken A La Carte is an inspiring short film by Ferdinand Dimadura, produced in 2005.

How fortunate most of us are, to have food served readily on our tables hot from the stove. And yet some of us have often taken the food for granted. We have so often reminded our young ones to be grateful for the food served to them and yet we are guilty of taking our food for granted at time.

I was once talking to a friend about not wasting food in restaurant and she shared with me a remark her friend made, “would finishing the food on the table made a difference to all the hungry people in the world?”

Her friend certainly has a point there especially when we view from her friend’s perspective. Finishing up all the food on the table would not make a difference to all the hungry people in the world and forcing all the food down would not be good for health too. What else could her friend have done? What can we have done?

Then it dawned upon me, “although it is not a good habit and bad for health to finish all the food we have ordered in the restaurant, we can order the amount of food that is within our capacities.” In other words, “do not order more than we can finish.”

Somehow that one quotation touched me deeply and within an hour of reading it, I had shared it in my Facebook’s profile, with groups and friends. If there is a way to reach out to all people in the world, I would be doing it happily. Such a simple thought, yet it can truly benefit us.

Gratitude is a positive thought that can empower the mind. In good times, it keeps us in check and remind us to share our blessings by giving unconditionally, without expectation to people around us and to the less fortunate. In bad times, Gratitude is probably the next best companion, besides support from family and friends.

In fact, there would be times when even our family and friends might not be there to root for us. However, like a loyal servant, Gratitude is always there; it is patiently waiting for us to summon it and ever ready to serve us. It works with us and give us the strength to get back on our feet during bad times. When life hits us with bricks on the head, it gives us the faith to move on and positively change our perspective of the situation.

I am consciously reminding myself to count my blessings especially when times are bad (I should be doing it even in good times), so that I can instantly re-frame my mind to be grateful for what is happening and to learn from the situation; sometimes it can be effortless but at times it can be a real challenge.

But like muscles in our body, which we need to work out regularly to make them stronger, we also need to regularly work out on counting the blessings; the more we do it, the better we get at tapping on the positive power of Gratitude.

Some of us will question, “How could one be grateful for the natural calamity which happened to one? The lost of loved ones, the lost of properties, the pain and suffering one went through!” However, we had witnessed how some of these strong individuals had re-bounced instantly, put asides their own lost and miseries, to reach out to others. I couldn’t hope to speak or know what was at the back of their mind, but I believe the feeling of Gratitude was one of the inner strengths within them.

However, we have very often heard from many who had near death experience to find new meaning in life and they become greater beings. Had you personally fought with cancer or knew of someone around you who did and triumphed over it? What was going through your mind? I couldn’t hope to speak everyone’s mind too but I believe there was definitely a feeling of Gratitude; the gratefulness to be alive.

I, too, am grateful to be alive and sharing with you the above quotation by Charles Dickens, “Reflect upon your present blessings…” As you were reading this, what were the blessings which came across your mind? Please feel free to share your blessings with us.

What did you learn?

My grandmother taught me a valuable lesson in Patience, Unconditional Love and Acceptance recently. She was admitted in the hospital for more than two weeks. For the two weeks, we took turns to take care of her during the day so that the caregiver could take a rest at home and be back in the evening to take care of her through the night.

Initially for the first 3 nights she was very restless and hallucinating; seeing things and people around her and making noises. There was really nothing much we could do, except to try to calm her down in different ways.

Fortunately she got much better and her mind much clearer after the third day; she could recognise us. However, she was still eating very little and getting weaker. We tried buying her some of her favorite food and cooking what she requested but she was still not eating. The doctor was telling us if she continued to refuse to eat, they would have to feed her by inserting a tube through her nostril down the throat and into her stomach. We were all at a lost and didn’t know what to do except to hope that she would start eating.

Then miraculously she started eating more and more. Soon she regained her strength back. My grandmother is a very strong-willed lady who always want to win. Thus the first thing when she got back her strength, she wanted to go home; the hospital couldn’t discharge her as they were monitoring her blood sugar level (which has been high) as well as her hemoglobin (which has been low). We had to try all ways to pacify her to stay in hospital.

We are different and yet we are also similar to each other. We are all sons or daughters to our parents, fathers or mothers to our children, uncles or aunts to our nieces and nephews, brothers or sisters to our siblings and friends to our friends. You and I, we are just souls being housed in different bodies.

When we focus on the differences, we see the differences in colour and culture. When we focus on the similarities, we can look beyond the physical layer into the beauty of the soul – the essence of life.

This is a journey with lot of challenges, but one which we do not travel alone. And together we can do it! Let us join our hands together to take on this journey of peace where our children understand and respect each other difference. And they treat each other with loving kindness and compassion. We can positively influence our children through our actions.

It is no fault of them that eventually they become like us, because out of concern, many times we ask them to be cautious, to think through, to analyse … any other things except to believe in themselves and to just do it! While I believe that we must not be reckless but we must be ready to take calculated risk and most importantly, we must be ready to take action. When there is a great idea, it must be accompanied by massive action to make it happens. Else an idea or a dream will just be an idea or a dream.

I was sharing with a student last night that it is normal to have self-doubt, but the moment the doubt appears, we acknowledge it and entertain the positive thought opposite to the doubt; entertain the thought of why not. The question to ask ourselves then is ‘How to?’

This morning I shared a video with two students and it too prompts us to think of the possibility and to believe in ourselves. Every successful man and woman were not luckier than their peers or people around them … they believed and most importantly … they took action!

As I was thinking what I should share in Advo Malaysia Inspiration Blog today. My thought went back to my conversation with a friend last night. She was sharing some quotations with me, which she got from trans4mind.com. I laughed out heartily as I recalled my fond memories on how Peter Shepherd from trans4mind.com had helped me out a great deal back in September 2006. I was sending emails to webmasters to share my eBook on love quotations and Peter was one of them.

Without hesitation, he graciously agreed to send out an email to his list of members to inform them about my eBook and without asking for a single cent. I was speechless! I told her I have always remembered that great act of kindness from Peter, which I will surely go on to share that story with many to come.

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Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. – Leo Buscaglia